When Your Best Simply Isn't Good Enough

So, today I ran the Seattle Marathon, after signing up for it yesterday. I have always said that I would not officially sign up and train for this marathon in advance because the weather here is too unpredictable, but today was a perfect running day--cloudy with a high of 55 degrees.

Because I didn't sign up for this marathon, I didn't train for it properly. I started to think about it the first week of October when a few friends were off running the Portland Marathon and I regretted that I wasn't prepared to go with them. Thus began my half-hearted training plan, which went something like this: 5 days a week--25 minute run, usually pre-dawn or at lunch time, and on the weekends, one long run. For three weekends in a row, I ran 17, 19, and 18 miles, respectively, and then I tapered to 13 and 10 and then it was race day. This is not a recommended training plan by any standards, but sometimes you have to work with what you've got, and the one thing I don't have a lot of is TIME. And while I don't think my disappearing for 3 hours on a Saturday morning is such a big deal, R does think it's a big deal. He tries to be supportive, but he has his limits.

So today I set out with the following thoughts in my head:

• a reasonable goal time would be 4:02
• man, I am so tired of GU (all flavors)
• all the big hills are after mile 20, so I should do my best to keep my first split time low
• I got my best half marathon time after minimal training, so maybe I'll surprise myself again, and maybe, just maybe I can cross that "Qualify for Boston" life goal off my list

Everything went pretty smoothly this morning. I had a minor pain in my right ankle, but I knew it was a result of my sciatic nerve, not an injury, so I wasn't too worried. I came close to cramping up a few times, but I avoided any severe pain and kept going. I crossed the first split line at 1:47:08--not bad. In fact, this gave me about 7 minutes leeway in the second half, but I knew I'd need every minute.

Then at mile 18 we crossed another mat and my time was 2:40:01. Uh-oh. I had just lost 4 minutes of my wiggle room. I remember now that those five miles were lonely--not many folks around running my pace, and so obviously my gait slowed. Now I knew I had to really work hard to make it to the finish line on time, and now things (feet, knees) were starting to hurt enough to be a little distracting. Then the 3:45 pace group passed me at around mile 21 and I knew I was in trouble. I focused on the fact that I had only 5 miles to go ("Five miles should be easy!" I kept reminding myself), but once I lost site of the pacer on the hills I knew I was losing site of a goal. Still, I kept going. I didn't walk because I knew I'd kick myself later if I did. I tried to imagine being chased by a bear, my children needing immediate rescue from some perilous situation, winning a new car if I could just make it to the finish line by 3:45, but my body resisted any demands to go faster. When I did try to speed up significantly I felt violently nauseous, so I backed off.

I made it to the finish line at 3:46:28, or 29 seconds shy of qualifying for Boston. That's just over a second a mile. Surely I could have gone one second faster per mile, right? Nope. I really did give it my best. I'm disappointed, but also proud. I didn't train like I should have and yet I got a pretty good time and I finished 75th out of the ladies. Seattle is a tough course and marathons are tough races. I'm happy that my body held out, even though this result probably means I'll try "one more time" to see if I can make a better go of it on a flatter course.

After the race, I made a point of seeking out those people I followed along the course at some point to thank them (for inspiring me to keep going)--somebody did this for me after my first marathon and I've never forgotten it, because it really meant just as much to me as finishing. Then I grabbed my checked items, called R., and headed home.

I should probably take up a quieter, less demanding hobby (the mandolin, perhaps), but running is my meditation, my exercise, and it feeds my competitive side. So until there are competitive, aerobic mandolin-a-thons, R will just have to bear with me.

Quote of the Day

I found this quote in an advertisement for a children's shop, but I think I like it even more if you take it out of context:

" Everything in winter goes better with a friend. Oh, and a stuffed monkey with a sense of adventure too."

Musical Taste

This morning I was sitting at the kitchen table with my younger son, G, talking about music. I was telling him all about Beyonce, and how I used to discount her, but I think she provides some great music for running: upbeat, fast tempo, etc. G really likes music--especially pop music--but he has a limited field of reference, being four years old. Here is how the rest of the conversation went.

G: "Do you like Hannah Montana?" (I know he's assuming that because I'm a girl, I must like Hannah Montana.)

Me: "I don't know any Hannah Montana songs, G. And she wasn't around when I was a kid, so I never really got into her. You might like her though."

G: "I DO NOT like Hannah Montana!" (SOB! SOB! SOB!)

Me: "Okay, okay, calm down. I just thought you might because you like pop music."

G: (trying to catch his breath) "I do NOT like pop music. I like Daddy's music."

Me: "That's nice, G. You should tell Daddy."

G runs into our bedroom and wakes R up to tell him how much he likes his music. I should mention that R is currently taking beginning guitar lessons, and right now he can play Greensleeves and House of the Rising Sun (sort of). I'm sure he appreciated the compliment, even if he didn't appreciate being woken up.

Addicted to Facebook

I'm not sure how it happened, but I think I am addicted to Facebook. Unfortunately, many of my closest friends are also addicts, and the Seattle rains are driving everyone inside, so I can only see the Facebook habit getting worse.

I know what I like about Facebook though. It's easy to use, fun, frivolous, entertaining, and a great way to see what your friends are up to when you don't have the time to call or the motivation to write a full e-mail. On the downside, it sucks up your time and it encourages bad grammar if you're like me and you tend to click "Post Comment" before you've proofread your typing and then it's impossible to edit your own comments (you can delete them though, which is what I often end up doing).

I hate to say this, but if you're not on Facebook, you should be. It's where all the cool kids are hanging these days. Come join us, but don't blame me when you can't find the exit.

Wassssup, California?

As thrilled as I was with the election results last week, there was one BIG letdown: Californians passed Proposition 8.

In case you've been living in a cave, Proposition 8 bans gay marriage and it marks the first time the state Constitution has been amended in order to TAKE AWAY rights. I keep hoping it was a mistake...a result of confusing wordplay that caused people to vote the opposite of their beliefs. I generally trust California to lead the liberal front, and now I'm worried that the small state of Vermont is going to have to carry this title (without the population to back it).

Earlier on this fall when I was watching the debates, I was upset that both the Democratic and Republican candidates came out and defined marriage as being a union between a man and a woman. How nice. How nice that this works for them, but not for the hundreds of thousands (maybe millions?) of gay people living in this country--a country that promises equality and justice for all. To me, the idea of equality means that people should maintain the right to marry ANYONE--preferably someone they LOVE.

This Proposition is a perfect example of why church and state should be separate, and I mean completely separate. What does this country have to lose by allowing gay marriage? What are people so AFRAID of? Maybe we're worried that the gay divorce rate will be lower than the straight divorce rate. This wouldn't look good now, would it?

Why do I care? I have a lot of gay friends. I feel guilty that I enjoy rights they don't simply because I'm straight. Of course, they're used to being treated like second-class citizens, so many of them are not as interested in promoting gay marriage as I am. Who can blame them for not wanting to take up another cross?

Time to Rock the Vote/Boat

Friends, have you ever in your adult life been so excited about politics? Have you ever wanted so desperately to affect change? Tonight is a momentous point in history, and we get to be a part of it.

I have some Republican friends who I respect and admire tremendously, but tonight...tonight my competitive streak is coming out and I am brimming with anticipation as the polls close and Obama is in a strong lead.
http://elections.nytimes.com/2008/results/president/votes.html

Frankly, I don't know how you can deny that this articulate, intelligent, and level-headed man is the best man for the job. Our country needs him, and we're lucky he decided to enter politics, because most people of his caliber stay away from this scene.

I will never forget the first time I heard Barack speak...it was at the Democratic Convention in 2004, and I was blown away. I continue to be blown away and I can't wait to see where he takes us. My only hope now is that we can keep him safe.